Life's Little Lessons

 

 

 

 

                                                

 

When there's a snow storm, some people bake cookies and others share funny stories. One of my friends shared these simple truths with me. Enjoy!!!

 

 

 

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. 

 

Lesson learned: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

                                                                                                    

SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a lady is pregnant, all her

friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".

But, none of them touch

the man's penis and say, "Good job".

Lesson learned: Some members of a team are never appreciated.

                                                

 

FIVE SIMPLE TRUTHS:

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

                                                      

Bonus Truth:

 

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

 

 

Stay safe and don't forget in snow storms it's better to stay home and bake cookies.