Larry Blamire's Masterpiece: The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

                                                        

Sometimes there is nothing good on television at 6:00 a.m. But sometimes, you just luck out and find a gem. I love B movies. I know when we think of B movies, we think: poorly made; bad acting; bad scenery, etc. etc. But, sometimes a B movie is freaking great. This is a repost of a blog I wrote in 2012.

                                                                   
My younger sister Lucy and I live on the east coast, but my mother and middle sister, Jane, live in Napa California. Lucy and I head out west once a year to visit. While there, my sister, Jane, plans a steady string of day trips to keep us pretty much out all day, every day. We had been at Jane’s house for almost two weeks and Lucy and I were wearing down from all the day trips.

                                                              

                                                               

This one particular morning Lucy and I awoke at 6:00 in the morning to get ready for lunch on the Napa Wine Train. We dragged ourselves out to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee while waiting for everyone to wake up. Lucy was surfing the cable guide to find something to watch until the caffeine took effect. She came across a movie called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.                                                        

“Let’s watch this,” I said, not wanting to watch the news or infomercials that are usually on during that ungodly time of day. We did and we became instant fans of the film and the man who wrote and directed this science fiction gem, Mr. Larry Blamire.

The Film

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a 20001 independent film that spoofs all those 1950 B movies that I grew up watching. Larry Blamire not only wrote the screenplay, but he directed the film and also had a part in the film.
                                                                 

                                                                  
He is a man of many talents. It stars Jennifer Blaire as Animala, Larry Blamire as Dr. Paul Armstrong, Fay Masterson as Betty Armstrong, Andrew Parks as Kro-Bar/Bammin, Susan McConnell as Lattis/Turgaso, Brian Howe as Dr. Roger Fleming, Dan Conroy as Ranger Brad, Robert Deveau as the Farmer and Darrin Reed as the mutant.

Plot

A scientist and his wife are searching for a meteorite that has crashed into the woods. This meteorite contains a rare element called atmosphereum. While searching for the meteorite, another scientist is asking a Ranger the location of Cadavra Cave. He’s looking for the lost skeleton.

Later that night, another meteorite crashes to earth and that is when the fun begins. We are introduced to two of the wackiest aliens to ever grace the big screen. Aliens Kro-Bar and Lattis from the planet Marva are stranded on earth with the ship’s pet mutant. They need the atmosphereum in order to return home. After disguising themselves as human, they are mistaken for the owners of a cabin. I’m still trying to figure out what the skeleton has to do with the story.                                                             

 

 

Fleming finds the alien’s device that morphed them into human shape and creates a helpmate from four different animals. Her name is Animala and she helps Fleming find the skeleton. From here on, the race is on when the aliens and Armstrong and his wife try to keep Fleming from resurrecting the Skeleton.

 

Conclusion

My sister Jane heard Lucy and me laughing out loud and she came out to investigate what had her two sisters so animated so very early in the morning. Plans to get an early start on the day’s events were forgotten as the three sisters watched The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Like I said before, I’m a lover of B movies. Larry Blamire expertly kept his film true to the B movie formula, but with one great difference. He included his audience into the joke and it was amazing.
                                                              

I’ve learned that the actors were instructed to act weird to make the film even crazier than it was. The aliens played by Andrew Parks and Susan McConnell should have gotten some type of award for their performance...freaking funny!
                                                       

There is a sequel, The Lost Skeleton Returns Again, but I haven’t seen this. My bad and I hope to find it on Netflix if possible. If you want to see a great spoof on B movies, please watch this film.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gilbert Shares Some Stuff We Never Knew

                                                                     

This funny joke below was posted by my brother Mike. We don't normally hear from him because of his crazy work schedule. It was rumored that that he'd become a vampire as we hardly see him during the day.

                                                                             

Another rumor going around was that he is the authentic Rip Van Winkle from the Washington Irving story.

                                                                         

Who knows? But, every once in a while, due to the planets aligning in the right configuration in the heavens, or maybe just a lighter work schedule; we're honored to see him awake.

                                                                           

Michael is the brother from my last Life with Fred & Lucy. He is the brother to three sisters who loved to get him in trouble; he was so accommodating. His sense of humor and love of practical jokes equals my dad's, and in some cases, surpasses it.

                                                                         

So if you're wondering where certain phases come from, wonder no longer. Michael has graciously supplied us with an explanation to one of them. Enjoy!


                                                                          

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

 

The Sisters Learn the Meaning of Old

                                                               

My sister Lucy retired from her Crossing Guard job and with me in between jobs; we have more time to hang out together. Lucy and I are in fairly good shape; we walk several miles a day; run after grandkids; leap tall buildings in a single bound…well maybe not leap…more like trip.

                                                               

Lucy joined a senior citizen center in South Philly that offers exercise classes every day and has a room with all kinds of weight lifting and muscle building equipment. She wanted me to join with her.

“Why should I exercise with a bunch of old people?” I asked, folding my arms in protest.

                                                      

        Me and Lucy

                                                         

“Because we’re old,” was her counter. Who me? NAH!
                                                                                  
Anyway…I joined the center with her because it was a chance for two sisters, who have been working ever since they were seven years old, to finally do activities together.

We signed up for the exercise classes which included a zumba routine. Most of the women in that class were at least 80 years old, while the others were closer in age to Lucy and me. The instructor teaching our class was about my age. Piece of cake, I thought to myself. Turning towards Lucy, I foolishly said, “This will  be easy.”                Wrong!!!!!!

                                                            

Hells bells and flab on a cracker! The instructor gave us one heck of a workout. Calling out commands like a drill sergeant, she had us moving body parts that I wasn’t aware even existed. Lucy and I were huffing and puffing and falling all over our own feet.

                                                                      

What about those women who were in their 80’s and I think there was one close to 90? They were doing just peachy fine; didn’t even break a sweat. WTF!  
 

                                                         

                                                            

Lucy and I will continue to go to the gym every day, but we might wear a disguise, especially 
 if those old ladies keep laughing at us.

                                                                                      

We All Need a Good Laugh

                                                                      

My grandsons love to show me stuff on the internet. This site is called "Just for Laughs" and I thought that you would enjoy watching this. There are several in a row, but they’re quick and they’re funny.

http://youtu.be/RCI1B3B0y2w

New Breed of Dating Services

                                                    

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Dating can be a frustrating hurdle for a lot of people and with the help of a reputable online dating service, many have found their true mate, or so the commercials say. I have friends and family who have used dating services with equally good and bad results.

                                                 

Why do people use a dating service? Well the number one reason is that many people are pretty sure that they’ll never find a true love at the local bar.

                                                                                                                                                          

Maybe their work schedule leaves no time to find that significant other

                                                               

Or they just want to find people with the same interests, religion, nationality, etc.

                                                         

Most of the better known online dating sites are advertised frequently on T.V. But recently, I saw an advertisement for farmers looking for that special someone…farmers?

                                                     

 

Aren’t most of our farms industrialized and owned by big corporations?

                                                                 

But if you’re an independent farmer, I guess you would need a dating service to find the perfect mate because you’re too busy trying to keep the farm from failing in today’s economic free fall.

                                                                 

Anyway that ad got me thinking about dating services and how there should be more of them and maybe with more selections, such as:

                                                                     Obnoxious people…

                                                      

                                                                       Clueless people

                                                                      

                                                                                 Lazy people

                                                

                                                                                         Angry

                                                                    

See where this is going? Someone could make oodles of noodles if they wanted to start a new type of dating service.

                                                                                                                 

I have a hard time falling asleep and in the wee hours of the morning, if I’m not writing a story or reading a book, I watch television. Late at night, you can find some really strange stuff on cable and this was one of them. So my dear readers, have you ever used a dating service? What type of results did you have? Let me know.