Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Life with Fred & Lucy Part 15: Day Trips To Nowhere


                                                                         

                                 Our Desoto looked something like this
Once in a while my father, who normally kept the grocery store open seven days a week, would close early on a Sunday afternoon and take the family on a day trip. All four kids would pile into the big Chrysler Desoto. That car was like built like a tank and its bumpers were wide, which was good because of the way my mother drove. Before every trip my father would announce, “If you have to pee, do it now.”
                                                                  
Our reply was always, “Nah, we’re good.”
My mom would bring a thermos of ice water and pack some snacks for us, especially if it was going to be a long ride. When it was time to leave, we four kids would scramble out the side door of our house and race to the car. I never figured out why we raced to the car because we couldn’t open the door; my father had the key, but as soon as the car doors were unlocked, the fighting began.
                                                                  

“It’s my turn to sit next to the window,” two of us would yell out. It was usually Jane and I who always tried to commandeer the windows. 
“You had the window the last time.” Came the quick reply and shoving from the younger siblings.

“Get the hell in the car you knuckle heads,” my father yelled at all four of us. Why the fight for the two rear windows? People who are baby boomers already know the answer, but for the younger generations, I'll explain.
There were no air conditioned cars back then, as far as I know, and if you were lucky to claim a window, you could position yourself to get the most air when the car was in motion. Plus, it was fun to roll down the windows. 
                                                                           
I’m seeing some confused looks out there so let me explain a bit more. We did not have electric windows in the 1948 Desoto. Windows were manually lowered and raised. See the handles in the above picture. Although this is not the inside of a Desoto, you get the idea of what the interior of an older car looked like and what was missing. We'll talk more about this further in the blog.
These day trips were never planned in advance, but taken at the spur of the moment. My parents were just trying to get their overly active children some fresh air and exercise. At least that's what they told us, but we began to suspect another motive. My father would usually head out to a place with big open spaces like Fairmount Park or Valley Forge. But, no matter where we were headed, it wasn't long before one of us would announce, “I have to pee.”
“Didn’t I tell you to pee before we left?” My father yelled.
“I didn’t have to pee then.” This need to pee always hit one of us when we'd been on the road for a short time and only when it was too far to turn around and head home.
“You kids are a pain in my ass,” my father would yell and then he and mom would start fighting. But, since Dad didn’t want any of us to have an accident in his fancy car, he would pull into the first gas station.
My mother would then herd all four of us to the back of the gas station where the restrooms were located. Mom  then placed a ton of toilet paper on the seat to protect us from ‘man germs’.
After we were settled back into the car and at our assigned window positions, my father headed on the road again. Everything was good until we kids started acting up and climbing all over the back seat.       
No! We didn’t have seat belts back in the old days. No seat belts, no infant car seats, nothing was child proof and adults smoked cigarettes in the car. Guess what; we survived.                                                                                                                                
My poor parents spent the entire trip yelling at us to behave and then yelling at each other about who the children took after. We were a wild bunch and could not sit quiet for longer than a few minutes. In fact, the entire trip would always consist of us complaining about who touched who, or who was getting all the air from the opened window, or who was shoving who. When we finally reached the park, my father , who looked like he was having a nervous breakdown opened the door and yelled, "Get the hell out of the car."                                                                                
“Go…run around,” my mother grumbled as she threw a ball for us to chase. We four kids chased after that ball for hours. When it was time to go home, dad would whistle and we'd run back and pile into the car, only to fall asleep on the long ride home.
                                                               
Sometimes, my parents would just take us for a long ride to nowhere. I think they were trying to find a place to dump us. You know someplace far where we wouldn’t be able to find our way back home.
Good memories for us baby boomers, but unfortunately for families today, the heavy volume of traffic on today's highways and the high gas prices are making road trips like I grew up with, a luxury that is getting harder to do. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Nathan Does Vegas


                                                                      



My daughter ReRe and her husband, Jim and little Nathan are at a family wedding in Vegas.

                                                                       
                                                 Nathan with Aunt Nicole and Mom



They get to miss all this $#*@%& cold weather. Lucky them. They asked me to check on Joshua who was unable to go with them due to work and school. I went over the other day to visit with Joshua and set off all the alarms???
                                                                      

I don't know what happened, but the police were there in seconds. My poor husband was being grilled as to why we were there, etc. etc. while I tried to get my daughter on the phone to find out the code to turn of the alarm.

                                                                        
Only kidding, the police were very nice and understanding of my punching in the wrong code...my husband; not too much.

Now back to Nathan. The little guy is having himself a ball. He got to do several fun things and even got to climb some high rocks in the desert.

                                                                         


                                   He got to meet Siegfried and his wild cats.


                                                                   
 
 
Nathan even got to do some flying in one of those wind tunnels. I'm so jealous.
 
 
I can't wait until they return home, but until they do, I have to check on Joshua after school tomorrow. Now if I could only remember what the code is??????

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Sometimes, You Find God Over a Cup of Tea


                                                                     

 
Yep, that is the title for this blog, and no, I didn’t become a religious fanatic overnight; although I am a very spiritual person. I don’t bide with Organized Religions  who try to bully their followers into blindly following, afraid to question some of the mandates handed down; even if these mandates are hateful and prejudiced.
                                                                  

But, the topic of Institutionalized religion is for another day and another blog. Today I want to talk about inspiration and creativity. After attending Sunday mass (yes, I go to church) I visited by granddaughter Katrina and her very insightful mother, Sue.  
                                                                         
                                                                

She made us a cup of tea and we chatted about my weekly blogs and my plans to self-publish one of my short stories about the zombie apocalypse. Sue is an amazing teacher, but she is also a talented artist. She’d asked me if I had ever watched https://www.youtube.com/user/TEDtalksDirector  I hadn’t, but I was sure curious. She pulled up an episode of Ted Talks on her computer, which featured the author of Eat Pray Love.

                                                                             


                                            Julia Roberts starred in the film based on the book.
                                                                      
Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat Pray Love, muses over the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses, but I’ll let this video below explain.
 


 
After we had watched this video, I told Sue about my novel and the chapter where God is speaking with the heroine of the book after a particularly nasty battle with demons. He tells Emele that his love is like a song that is sent out racing through the cosmos.
                                                                         


Every blade of grass, every grain of sand, every living thing scattered throughout the universe hears this song. Unfortunately, there are times when sentient beings aren’t tuned in, but when we do great things and create a story, poem, song or painting, it is because we have heard and connected with this song of creativity and life. I look at this 'inspiration' as God tapping us on the shoulder and saying, "Here, try this."
                                                                   
                  

                                
As writers, I’m sure we’ve all had days when the universe is aligned in the right position and we can’t stop the story from taking its first breath on that blank page. But, there are times when nothing we do short of standing on our head for hours to increase the flow of blood, helps to get one word on the page. I didn’t know how to explain this condition, but thanks to Ted Talks and Elizabeth Gilbert; I get it!
                                                                            

So, the inspiration that I felt in church was also found in a quaint Victorian home in Audubon, New Jersey, and I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with two muses; Katrina’s mom and Elizabeth Gilbert on Ted Talks.

What inspires you to write?

 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Gilbert Shares Some Stuff We Never Knew


                                                                     




This funny joke below was posted by my brother Mike. We don't normally hear from him because of his crazy work schedule. It was rumored that that he'd become a vampire as we hardly see him during the day.

                                                                             


Another rumor going around was that he is the authentic Rip Van Winkle from the Washington Irving story.

                                                                         


Who knows? But, every once in a while, due to the planets aligning in the right configuration in the heavens, or maybe just a lighter work schedule; we're honored to see him awake.

                                                                           



Michael is the brother from my last Life with Fred & Lucy. He is the brother to three sisters who loved to get him in trouble; he was so accommodating. His sense of humor and love of practical jokes equals my dad's, and in some cases, surpasses it.

                                                                         


So if you're wondering where certain phases come from, wonder no longer. Michael has graciously supplied us with an explanation to one of them. Enjoy!


                                                                          



For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Life's Little Lessons

 
 
 
 
                                                

 
When there's a snow storm, some people bake cookies and others share funny stories. One of my friends shared these simple truths with me. Enjoy!!!
 
 
 
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. 

 
Lesson learned: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.



                                                                                                    
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a lady is pregnant, all her

friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".

But, none of them touch

the man's penis and say, "Good job".

Lesson learned: Some members of a team are never appreciated.

                                                


 
FIVE SIMPLE TRUTHS:

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

                                                      
Bonus Truth:
 
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
 
 
Stay safe and don't forget in snow storms it's better to stay home and bake cookies. 

Life with Fred & Lucy, Part 14: Mama Grizzly


                                             Mom with Me and Jane                            


On episode 12, I covered the topic of discipline in the Maratea homestead. My parents were strict and if they were able to catch us, the spankings were swiftly administered. Although my parents were quite happy handing out corporal punishment to their wild and mischievous offspring, no one else was allowed to place their mitts on us.
There are many memories of my mother coming unannounced to one of my classrooms whenever she felt that the nuns who taught me at St. Monica’s school had overstepped that invisible line drawn in the sand, so to speak. Now you have to remember that my mother was nicknamed “The Kraken” and believe me, you did not want to get her riled up.
99% of the time, if we  kids came home and told our parents that the nuns had hit  us with the ruler, my mother would give us an extra smack just for aggravating the poor nun. But, if my mother suspected that the teacher had over reacted, there she was…at the door.
There was this man, who was fairly new to the neighborhood and who had a reputation of being a drunk and a wife beater; no one liked him. One day, he made the unfortunate mistake of hitting my little brother Michael. The man had apparently been sleeping off his daily drunkenness and my eight year old brother and his friends were playing ball in front of his house. He came storming out of his house and grabbed my brother, lifted him up in the air and smacked him. The other boys stood frozen in fear as my brother ran home, crying.
                                                            
                                Michael, Patty Play Pal, Little Lucy, Mom
My mother was in the kitchen cooking chicken cutlets in the large iron cast skillet when Michael came into the kitchen sobbing. When she heard what had happened, my mother’s eyes crossed, her face got beet red, and I swear I saw steam rising from her head. She dumped the chicken cutlets into the sink and off she marched with that hot iron skillet in her hand. Michael and I followed from a safe distance.
                                                                     
                                                      My brother Michael
When the man opened the door after my mother pounded on it for several minutes, he made the second fatal mistake of the day. He made a rude remark. My mother beat the living shit out of that man. She swung that frying pan back and forth like it was Thor’s hammer.
She left the man unconscious on his door step and walked back home with us tagging behind. Everyone in the neighborhood, adults and children began applauding. No one liked how that man had been treating his wife or children, but everyone was afraid of his temper.                                                  
We never used that skillet again. It was severely dented from where it made contact with the man’s skull., but we did keep it as a trophy. The strangest thing happened after my mother went grizzly on the drunk. He stopped drinking and he stopped beating the wife and kids.                                                                      
I can’t say for sure why that was…but the rumor going around the neighborhood was that whenever that man walked up the street and past our store, my mother would come to the door with that skillet and smile her Kraken smile. She scared him sober.

Monday, January 20, 2014

SAM BAG PROJECT Who is it for?

                                                                      


Shout out for all my Blog, Twitter, Google! and Facebook friends and family.

I know my followers are used to reading all kinds of posts on my blog ranging from zombies to ghost hunting, but today I'm putting out the call to help the young men and women who  are in Marine Boot Camp. I'm sure you've read my post on Biff Bam Pop about my thoughts on the movie Full Metal Jacket and my oldest grandson joining the Marines. My daughter and her family along with hubby and I are planning of being there for Jimmy on the day he graduates, but...

 Not every Marine has family coming to their special graduation day, either due to illness, death or maybe financial reasons. Since these brave souls are willing to put their lives on the line for us, the least we can do is make sure that everyone of our soldiers has a goodie bag on graduation day. Check the information below and do this for them, please and thank you. Check information below:

SAM Bags are for Stand Alone Marines – new Marines that do not have family members come for family day or graduation.  Friends and family members collect donations to pack goodie bags for the new Marines as a way to thank them for their sacrifice and congratulate them on their accomplishment


We are looking for items to put in bags for the SAMs.  We will be making 25 bags.  The following is a list of items you can donate or if you have something specific please feel free and send it!  Kelly at Gilligan's also gave me a few things that they already have and we DO NOT need to send.  I will list those as well.  All items must be received by March 13, 2014 by 4:00.  If you have any questions please just ask.  Thank you all for your support!



Please mail all donations to:


 
Gilligan's

2601 Boundary Street

Beaufort, SC  29906

Please make sure you mark the box with the company name and graduation date

KILO and NOVEMBER COMPANY 3/14/14.

Donation Ideas:

 
Beef Jerky

Gift Cards  (McDonalds, Burger King, etc.)

Disposable Cameras

Stationary Items

Chips

Magazines

Gatorade or Bottled Water (this is an item someone could bring to the restaurant)

Things NOT to send:

 
Hygiene Products

Word Search Books

Playing Cards

Friday, January 17, 2014

Bogart's Book Store offers Coffee & a Side Order of Ghosts

                                                          

I went to one of my favorite book stores called Bogart’s Books and Café in Millville, N.J. last Saturday. This amazing little bookstore is over a 100 years old and it has everything: atmosphere, ambiance, character, books, gift cards, coffee, and it is all because of the young lady who owns this establishment. Amy Lombardo has a personality that makes you feel welcomed as soon as you set foot inside Bogart's. Her bubbly personality rubs off on her loyal customers, too. 
                                                                     
                                                                    

The very first time that I was at this book store was a year ago. We were there to do a book signing for the South Jersey Writers' Group. Our group had published an anthology called Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey. This anthology has a story for everyone, ranging from slices of life to zombies.
                                                               
After setting up the books, I decided to get a cup of coffee, but I was distracted by the ghost. Yes, I said ghosts and since I'm an Empath and very sensitive to paranormal events, I immediately sensed a very friendly male spirit. He was dancing around and telling me how happy he was to be able to spend his time in a book store. He'd always loved books, and to him; this was heaven.
                                                                              
At the end of our book signing event, I made plans with Amy to return to Bogart's the following month with the Purveyor of Spirits Investigative Team, of which I am a member. Jean is our team leader and magnet for the spirits. Jean and I experience physical symptoms whenever a spirit is nearby; chest pains, nausea, etc. and we can get a good picture of the dearly departed in our minds. Rita is usually the one the spirits love to touch. She doesn’t like it much, but for some reason the spirits like to tap her on the arm and while on our visit to Bogart's; give a little shove. With the three of us working together, we really don’t need that much equipment; relying only on our senses.
                                                                   
 
Amy if we could check out the upper floor and the basement. She said yes and let us have free roam of the place. As we walked up the stairway to the upper level, all of us could feel the air getting heavier. I turned around and took a picture of the stairway because I felt a male presence there. I thought I saw a mist begin to form and took this picture.
                                                                            

Jean and I immediately felt the physical effects of two nearby spirits. The woman I had sensed was not the one that Amy had told us about, but an older woman about my age with dark hair pulled back into a bun. She was wearing glasses. She was curious and wanted to make sure that we did not disturb any of the books or paintings on that level. I had the sense that she was the payroll clerk when this building was once a factory.
                                                                  
There was a male spirit there, too... not our happy Andrew, but a grumpy, slightly overweight, balding, middle aged man in his late fifties. I think it was this spirit that we felt as we climbed the steps. He wore a sleeveless undershirt and suspenders. He reminded me of Jackie Gleason's Ralph Kramden.  I had the feeling that he did not normally hang out on the level we were on, but in the basement. He wanted us to go to the basement and actually gave Rita a slight shove to hurry her steps as we walked back down the steps.
                                                                         
The basement is filled with books. Amy had mentioned that the basement ghost, which she was a bit wary of, was frequently dumping over the boxes and large plastic container, spilling books onto the floor. Rita, Jean and I did our thing and I realized that the Ralph Kramden spirit was there. He'd followed us down to the basement. After looking at the container and the boxes, I was hit with the strongest conviction that this spirit was upset because a book that he liked had been recently packed away and he could not find it. Amy confirmed that this was so. The books were moved and packed. But, which book was the spirit looking for? The sense I got of this man was that he was a grumpy man with a large dose of OCD and he didn't like when things were moved around. 
                                                                          
Your personality is the same dead or alive. If you are a pain in the butt alive, well...you get the picture.
                                                                

This year I had the chance to return for another book signing, but this time it was for my own book, Roof Oasis. This is a sci-fi paranormal story of love and the events that lead to the apocalypse. Roof Oasis can be purchased on Amazon.com. While at Bogart's I had the chance to sell books and interact with the living and the dead.
                                                           
          

You owe it to yourself to head down to Millville, New Jersey and visit Bogart's Book Store. Stay a while; chat with Amy. Buy one of her books and when you're ready for  lunch head down to the Old Oar House Irish Pub and get the best Irish Stew, ever!