Edited and updated version of Assassins at the Museum

 I've updated this post because you should never post after three glasses of wine. Enjoy.

Assassins at the Museum

                You’ve all seen or heard of the movie “Night at the Museum”, well instead of the exhibits coming alive, I try to get my grandsons to act alive and interested, whenever we are visiting a museum.

                I’ve always enjoyed museums and would take my daughter every chance I had, and as the grandkids came along, I often took them. I became their hero when I had the privilege to work at the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia.

                I was the part time manager for Changing Exhibits and the Birthday party Coordinator along with my other assignments, which included working in Outside in, helping with Safari Overnights and Scouts classes when needed. I shared my love for the Academy and when they became older a few of the kids began to volunteer. It was a sad day for them all, when I retired.

                The Wednesday after Christmas, I decided to take Jimmy age 17, Joshua age 15, and Nathan age 9, to the Mutter Museum which is part of the College of Physicians of Philadelphia. If you’ve never been there, make a point to go. It is a fascinating museum.

                It’s always an adventure going anywhere with the three boys because they argue a lot. The oldest teases the youngest, and the youngest aggravates both older boys, but as we rode the bus to Center City, I gave a warning. “No hitting, punching, running around, or obnoxious body sounds, while we’re in this museum, understood boys?”

                “What do you consider obnoxious body sounds?” the youngest asks.

                I gave the “granny stare” and once more went over the rules.

When we arrive at the museum it’s crowded with holiday visitors and as I check our coats, the oldest asks, “Where are the Siamese twins?”

                Joy of joy, will this be a pleasant museum trip? “On the lower level, but let’s look at the skulls first,” I say to all three.

                They stood beside me for a total of five minutes when the youngest asks, “Can we walk around on our own, so we’re not rushing you?”

                “Why yes”, I innocently reply.

                I kept my eyes on them as I looked at the specimens on the upper level and they seemed to be enjoying the exhibit…but I became suspicious when I noticed them moving through the crowd and looking over their shoulders. “What are they up to?”

                I became more suspicious by the time we had reached the lower level. “So what is this?” The oldest asked. I was looking at a display featuring a very large colon.

                “Well it says here…” I read from the card that also showed a photo of the patient. “Isn’t this interesting?” But he was no longer beside me and in his place, a couple who apparently enjoyed my reading to them. Red faced, I went looking for the desperadoes.

                “What are you three up to?”

                “We’re not making any body sounds,” the youngest volunteers.

                “Be good,” I remind them, but after a few moments, they’re gone. “I’m going to kill them.”

                “What’s this about?” the middle child asks, suddenly appearing at my side.

                “The different stages of gestation,” I begin to say, but he is no longer there.

                When it was time to leave, we headed for the bus stop. “I know you weren’t paying attention to what was in the museum.”

But I was in for a surprise, as they listed the most interesting or most disgusting items, including a section I was unable to view because of the large crowd.

                “I’m impressed, but what was the game you were playing?”

                “Oh…you saw what we were doing?” Sheepish grins were on all three faces.

                “GOD and grandmothers have the ability to see all things,” I say and watch their smiles disappear. “What was the game?”

                “Assassin’s Creed and points are earned by the most taps on the back.”

                “But, you were supposed to be learning,” I protested.

                “We didn’t make obnoxious body sounds,” countered the youngest.

What could I say? Nothing was broken, they weren’t fighting or bugging me about being bored, and when we left, the Mutter Museum was still in one piece. I guess it was a good trip after all.