Negative energy can come from the living and the dead. Over my lifetime, I’ve met my share of narcissistic and sociopathic personalities. So have you, but you may not have known what you were dealing with. I call these people “Emotional Vampires” because they are capable of sucking the very life from you. Emotional Vampires can be found in all kinds of habitats; work, home and even at church.
They don’t survive on blood, nope. If they were simply blood suckers, we would only need a sharp, pointed stake and holy water to rid ourselves of them. Emotional Vampires come in many guises: spouses, friends, bosses and sadly even our children.
How to know if you’re dealing with an Emotional Vampire
1. You feel the need to protect your personal space.
2. You feel emotionally and physically drained just spending a small amount of time with this person.
3. Your happy mood changed to anxious and depressed after spending time with this person.
4. You begin doubting yourself as worthwhile after being in the presence of this vampire.
We all know someone like this. If it’s someone that we only see occasionally, we can protect ourselves by limiting time spent with this beastie, but what if we can’t escape? What if they live with us? You need to know how to protect yourself.
Types of Emotional Vampires
Hell, yeah! Emotional Vampires can fit into several categories:
Narcissist: Me, me, me. It’s all about me. These vampires lack empathy and emotional growth and if you don’t or can’t do things their way, they become cold, distant and punishing. I bet you’re wondering how to handle this Ass wipe.
You can smack the shit out of them, but that might get you in trouble with the law. You need to remember to keep your expectations realistic. They will never change, so you need to change how you deal with them. Picture yourself in a room with a rattlesnake. If you don’t enter the snake’s territory, it doesn’t feel threatened and won’t strike. Talk to these people like you would to the snake. Tell them nothing that they can use against you. Never make your self-worth dependent on them. You have to trick them into doing something for you by letting them think it will benefit them. While the snake is valuable because it eats rodents that carry diseases, there is nothing valuable about a narcissist.
The Victim: The world is always against them. It’s never their fault. When you offer a solution to their sorry lives, they come up with thousands of reasons why they would still be the victim. With this vampire, you need to set limits. Listen briefly, then say, “Unless you are willing to change, there is nothing I can do,” then change the subject or walk away...quickly.
The Controller: It’s my way or the highway! We’ve all met this control freak. Nothing you do is right, if you don’t do it their way. They will pick at your self-worth until you are unable to trust your decisions. I put this vampire on the same level as the narcissist, but more dangerous. Be assertive, be confident. Tell them, “Thank you for your advice, but I have this.” Stick to your guns.
The Splitter: This is the ‘Dracula’ of emotional vampires. They are paranoid and may possibly suffer from borderline personality disorders. My siblings and I dealt with this type of personality when dealing with our mother. They try to pit people against each other and will attack if you don’t agree with them. My mother didn’t know she was sick. We didn’t know either as children, but as adults we began to see the signs. How do you protect yourself from this vampire? Don’t let them push your buttons. Don’t take sides. Walk away when their anger rears its ugly head.
I saved the least known emotional vampire for last. There are spirits out there, living in the space between life and death, that can attach themselves to you. These ghosts can literally drain the joy from your very core.
Psychic Vampire: Another name for this creature is ‘Energy Vampire’. When I go on ghost investigations, I make sure to surround myself with spiritual armor. Being an Empath opens me to feeling the emotions of the living and the dead. For the most part, this is helpful in understanding the spirit world and, for knowing when my friends need a hug or an encouraging word. I use my protective armor when I also do spiritual readings for people, but I also make sure to say a prayer after each reading and to cut the cord between the people that I did the reading for. Sometimes, I encounter an energy vampire that I’m not aware of it. This happened recently when I was at a large convention. This past week, I wasn’t myself. I felt drained, angry and unsettled. Where did this come from? Then I remembered.
I had met a psychic at a recent convention who happened to mention that he had many spirits living in his home. Some of those spirits were harmful. I thought I’d sensed a spirit with this man, but I wasn’t sure. I said my prayers, but maybe I hadn’t realized how persistent this spirit was. Now that I’ve identified the cause of my stress, I’ve sent the spirit away with prayers and good intentions to protect me and my home.
Sometimes, we can limit our encounters with people who go out of their way to make our lives miserable. Sometimes, we can’t; they’re family. You can survive these people if you know how to use their tricks against them. Think of this survival mode as mental Aikido or spiritual Kung Fu. It took me a long time to understand the emotional vampire and to avoid them. Be strong and know that you can overcome negativity.