The last time I posted
about life with Fred and Lucy, I promised to tell you how we managed the
security for our grocery store. If you think the C.I.A. was good at spying on people, then you
should have known Fred. My father and
mother were both OCD, especially about being robbed.
Our Grocery Store at 15th and Porter Streets
The grocery store was a family business and everyone was put to work. Along with the canned foods, dairy products and luncheon meats, my parents sold penny candies, loose potato chips and loose pretzel sticks. This was in the early fifties and you were given a small paper bag to fill with candy, chips or pretzels.
The grocery store was a family business and everyone was put to work. Along with the canned foods, dairy products and luncheon meats, my parents sold penny candies, loose potato chips and loose pretzel sticks. This was in the early fifties and you were given a small paper bag to fill with candy, chips or pretzels.
Most people were honest, but every
once in a while a group of strangers (kids from another neighborhood) would
come in and steal the candy. They would do this every few days and this drove
my father bat shit crazy.
You didn’t make a lot of money owning a store and the
profits were earned a penny at a time. What did Fred do? My sister Jane, me and, my three cousins, Anthony, Jerry and Michael became Fred's front line of defense.
Acting every bit like General
George Patton, my father prepared his own version of the Battle of the Bulge.
The only difference was the bulge we would be fighting was the stuffed pockets
of the teenaged boys stealing our candy. It was a brilliant plan! My father installed
a buzzer that would buzz on all three floors: 2nd, 1rst, and
basement. No matter where his workers were, we would hear that stinking buzzer.
I hated that buzzer!
Anyway, when he pressed the buzzer,
we kids would drop whatever we were doing and run to our secret observation
points: I hid behind the pasta shelf, peeking through the boxes where I
could grab hold of the thief’s hand in mid-theft. Jane had the potato bin where she was in charge of tossing potato grenades at the enemy;
Cousin Anthony stood at the door to
prevent the hoodlums' escape while cousins Jerry and Michael stood in front of the penny
candy display. It was a success!! Word spread throughout the neighborhood, and soon ,the teenaged thieves stopped
raiding the store. My father’s ‘Battle of the Candy Bulge’ was so successful,
that the other neighborhood grocery stores adopted the buzzer weapon.
My mother never had to resort to
the buzzer, because all the neighborhood kids were afraid of her. She had a wicked stare.
Next episode: How we became secret agents
