Saturday, February 22, 2014

Death by Legos


With nine grandchildren, I’ve been dragged into some pretty wild adventures. Some are fun and I mark off these outings as a day well spent. Some adventures I try to forget ever happened as soon as possible. Today was one of those days. I was feeling a bit under the weather and wanted to spend time with Nathan, my youngest grandchild.

As soon as I entered the house and before I had taken off my coat, my grandson runs up to me and announces that we are going to a movie. My daughter and Nathan hustle me out of the house and into her car before I can ask, “What are we seeing?”
In the car and after we are half way to the theatre, my daughter finally confesses, “Nathan wants to see the Lego Movie.”

“Are you nuts?” I counter, trying to open the car door a jump out while the car is doing a good 40 miles an hour. “I thought you loved me,” I say to Nathan as he and his mother pull me back into the moving car.

“Mom, it might be good,” ReRe lies with a straight face.

“Come on Granny. I want to see this with you.”

I must have done something to piss off the kid. Why else would he drag me to see a Lego Movie? My daughter treated me to the movie and snacks. I’m calling it a bribe.
We took our seats and the movie came on. The Lego Movie stars Chris Pratt as the voice of Emmett, Will Ferrell is the voice of President Business and he also makes a cameo appearance, Morgan Freeman is the voice of Vitruvius. There are lots of big star names and superhero characters in this movie, but I don’t care; it stinks.

Ten minutes into the movie, Nathan turns to me and says, “This is stupid. Let’s go.”

You think?
“You picked it and you’re stuck with it,” Re and I both reply just as the song started.

I have this picture in my mind of Hell. Everyone who is banished there will have to listen to this song for all eternity. Thankfully, the movie ended before I went comatose, but now the dumb song is stuck in my head.
As we were leaving, I said to Nathan, “Next time, let me pick the movie. I wanted to see Robo Cop.”

There are probably plenty of little children who will like this movie, God bless them, but to me, the Lego Movie was nothing more than an advertisement for toys with bad music. Here is the song, but I warn you, it sticks in your head.

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