I’ve been writing about the
adventures of Fred and Lucy as a memorial to my parents and to share some of
the crazy stuff that happened while I and my siblings grew up in South
Philadelphia. The stories are also a way for me to remember the good times and
not just the sad.
Aunt Ann, Grandmom, Mom
My mother was born way before her
time and her independent and self-absorbed ways often shocked friends and family
alike, but it was her children who saw all of Lucy's different identities. My
mother would have been happy working for a major movie company as she was very
talented and had a great voice. Mom loved to be the center of attention. In fact, my mom and
her sister, Ann, both sang at the Italian Opera House located near the Italian
Market when they had first moved here from Naples in the late 30's.
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I don’t think my mother was
prepared for marriage and children, and although she did try her best to make
things work out, we kids knew that there was something missing, something
wrong, and when my mom decided to take off to California; we weren’t surprised.
My mother was not able to commit to the struggles of working long hours in a grocery store and raising four very active children. Lucy loved to party and travel and we would have hindered her adventures. Mom had a personality disorder, but this was only diagnosed much later in her life. Did it ease the pain of her leaving us or not being there for the important events in our lives?
No, but at least we had a diagnosis for
why we were left behind. She was a product of her genetic history. I’ve always
wondered if she got this trait from her father, because Grandmom Chiusolo was a
saint and our guardian angel while she lived.
Mom and brother Michael
Mother’s Day is coming up and I’ll
be spending this holiday with my daughter. My siblings and I often discuss my
mother and try to figure out why she could only love us on her conditions and
by her rules. My brother has forgiven her, but there are scars that reveal
themselves when he speaks about her or Fred. My sisters and I love her, but we
are each trying to find ways to forgive her. My Fred and Lucy stories are
helping me to forgive and forget, and to love my mom for who she was.
None of us are perfect and we
should not force perfection on others. And, if my daughter can forgive all the
stupid mistakes I’ve made raising her, then I should do the same for Lucy. My
mother and my father’s spirits hang out at my house and I’m hoping that Lucy
and Fred are enjoying the weekly episodes about them as much as my followers. The picture below is Mom with second husband, Tom.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy
And a Happy Mother's Day wish for all the mommies out there
