Thursday, January 23, 2014

Gilbert Shares Some Stuff We Never Knew


This funny joke below was posted by my brother Mike. We don't normally hear from him because of his crazy work schedule. It was rumored that that he'd become a vampire as we hardly see him during the day.


Another rumor going around was that he is the authentic Rip Van Winkle from the Washington Irving story.


Who knows? But, every once in a while, due to the planets aligning in the right configuration in the heavens, or maybe just a lighter work schedule; we're honored to see him awake.


Michael is the brother from my last Life with Fred & Lucy. He is the brother to three sisters who loved to get him in trouble; he was so accommodating. His sense of humor and love of practical jokes equals my dad's, and in some cases, surpasses it.


So if you're wondering where certain phases come from, wonder no longer. Michael has graciously supplied us with an explanation to one of them. Enjoy!


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.


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